I Miss You So Bad
by evelynsteele
Summary: Sigyn sits on the edge of the Rainbow Bridge. Thor talks to her about it. About HIM. heavily implied lokixoc!sigyn. rated for suicidal thoughts.


**tw: suicidal thoughts**

WBTPM - WBTPM - WBTPM

Thor walked purposefully, but made no sound. As he neared the edge of the shattered Rainbow Bridge, he slowed to a crawl before simply standing. She was there. Again. Still. He wasn't sure at the moment. All that mattered was that Sigyn was sitting at the broken edge, her feet dangling into the abyss. Heimdall had warned him that she had all but taken up residency there; he'd had to carry her back to her room after she'd fallen asleep more than a few times. She was eerily similar to the Bridge: shatter, fragmented, un-seeing, without her other half. She'd religiously avoided wearing her typical whites and blues; instead, she only ever was seen in black and green. While Frigga and Thor, even Odin, were distraught by Loki's death, Sigyn had taken it hardest of all.

"Sigyn," Thor stated as he came up behind her. She sat still as a statue, her posture perfect. She had the true makings of a princess, thanks to guidance from Frigga and a natural strive to please those around her. Different from his normal request that she go inside, he swept aside his cloak and sat down next to her. He waited for a beat, but she made no movement to look towards him or even really acknowledge him. "We all mourn for him."

"I do not doubt that," she murmured in the quietest of whispers. She rarely spoke to anyone, but whenever she did, her voice was soft and cracked from days of crying followed by a near vow of silence. Her blue eyes stared past her knees, dizzying her mind with thoughts of the abyss below.

He looked over at her before facing front once more, realizing he shouldn't push his luck. She was talking to him, which is more than he'd been able to coax out of her recently. It might shut her down completely to beg for eye contact as well. "You are brave," he commented, fidgeting with his hands in his lap, wondering how she was keeping so still.

She scoffed and moved, waving her head from side to side. "I was not brave for loving him. I am a fool now for still loving."

"You come here," Thor clarified, gesturing to the emptiness before him. "You were the first to return here after it happened. You are dutifully here, mourning for him as only a wife can. You are incredibly brave, dear sister."

There was a stretch of silence. He was concerned he'd overstepped his boundaries. Then, she began to tremble. "I'm not brave," she responded, her voice shaking as badly as her body. "I'm a coward. It's horrifying how cowardly I am. You know why I come here?" She swung her head to look at him, capturing his eyes with hers. He was alarmed at the anguish still in her eyes, beyond the pink stains and the puffiness. "I miss him. I miss him with a passion that terrifies me. I come here because I think about joining him. I think about tumbling off this edge, if for nothing else than to end this suffering. But I'm too scared to." Tears began to pour down her face. "I'm too much of a coward to face anyone in the palace, but I'm still too much of a coward to end it all. He would be ashamed, could he see me now."

Thor scooted himself back from the edge, then pulled on her arm and gathered her on his lap. He wrapped her into his embrace, clumsily running a hand up and down her back. "You are no coward," he insisted. "You are brave for facing each day. And you needn't face anything alone. Odin is here for you. Frigga is here for you. Even I am here for you, though I certainly am not the best at expressing so." She chuckled through her tears, doing her best to wrap her arms around him. "And he is not ashamed. I promise you, he is incredibly proud of you. He is smiling down on you from Valhalla, loving you as fiercely through the veil as you him." He gently adjusted her so that she was facing him and, with a grace few knew he possessed, he formed two braids just behind her ears. "Warrior plaits," he explained with a smile, giving a loving tug to one. "For you are his warrior. Bravely batting each day in his memory and honor."

She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck in a hug, pressing herself to him. "Thank you, brother."

He grinned as he returned her hug, a bit more enthusiastically than she'd anticipated based on her responding noise. It was the first time since before the revelation of Loki's heritage that she'd called him 'brother.' "Anything for my dearest sister," he responded truthfully.


End file.
